The quirky DNA

In human sense, toddlers are totally insane hysterical little humans. It is just that they are way too cuter. And hence the former becomes insignificant and trivial.  Imagine a tiny human screaming in its top notch pitch demanding for some useless thing that you threw in the garbage a week ago. (utterly helpless) Imagine a little one pooping in the middle of your house and demands immediate clean up. (Yes, DEMANDS!!) And you had to prioritize it thus muting your ongoing zoom call. Imagine a tiny cute alien wearing your half destroyed accessories and showing off like a little super star and all you could do is smile and put control over the trauma that it had just caused. Imagine a little human pouring over a bowl of cereals onto your file stack just because she didn't like the taste of the raisins that were in it! (Byeee...... Off to redo my assignment !) Welcome to toddler life!!  Going through a tough phase? Spend a couple of minutes here.. You will thank me later...

Perks of having a sibling - the annoying one Scenario 1: Me: *Smiling at funny memes on my phone* My sibling : Mom! She has been chatting with her boyfriend for the past 25 hours and 25 minutes !! Me : #@$% Scenario 2:  Me : *walks by* My sibling: Shut up Me : No ,you shut up! My mom : *ye lls my name* Me : @#$%! Scenario 3: My sibling : *hits my head with a hammer*  Strangles me to death* Pu shes me into the bathtub full of water* T hrows me down from the balcony* Me *touch her with my pinky finger* My mom : How could you do it to that poor soul? She could have hurt herself badly?!!!!! Me : @#$%! Scenario 4: Me: *watching tv* My sibling: Quickly fetches the remote and changes (though it was her favourite show too) Me : Hey ! Don't you like it too. Come let's watch together. My sibling : *reactionless* (change change change change for no reason) Me :@#$%! Next day:  My fri...

When was the last time you did something dumb or absurd? No matter how poised and elegant we tend to present ourselves everyday ,every moment, we always end up showing our fat-headed self at one point or the other. May it be FROM running to fetch a bubble wrap that has just fallen off the delivered package TO purposely ignoring an email and replying after an Era, that it ended up in the spam folder (What? Really?? What a rude human you must be!??) 😛 FROM secretly peeping into a near by trolley in the supermarket and judging their existence TO trying to overtake the fast walker in the pavement and end up walking like a pregnant ostrich in a hurry. FROM metally threatening your laptop to throw it off from the cliff, while it takes ages to reboot or when the screen freezes, TO trying to enact a lame sentimental movie scene (that you binge watched) while the water droplets drag themselves down on your face from the top- in the shower. All of us have been there- behaving like a ...

Over the last few years I had spent a lot of time in airports -traveling alone, as a couple, traveling with friends, with a little monster, standing in queues, calming a hyper tantrum edged toddler, sleeping on the floor, moving on belts, eating half-cooked food, name it and I have done it !! Over the time I made a list of the different types of people you come across in airports.. So.. Here it goes.. Source :Doodland ⭐ Number 1 : The overpackers There are people who inspite of reading all the instructions one by one, underlining and highlighting them, yet carry atleast a 10kg extra stuff in their baggage and hold the queue for ages trying to decide on the importance of the articles packed in order to avoid paying for the extra baggage. (Do I need 5 Toilet paper rolls? Or can I manage with 2?) God damn!!!! ⭐ Number 2 : The Atheletes I do not know what kind of an emergency situation such people are put into every f*ing time they travel. Last time, I met a guy who cut th...

How do you feel being a new parent? Is your life not the way it used to be? Well... The answer is definitely YES. Having these tiny humans around, that you created, changes your life. Ofcourse you are pretty the same human who wakes up, eats, poops and breathes! The only difference is that you are accompanied everywhere 24*7. You no longer keep your knives in drawers, no more purchase of expensive vases or cutlery, You stop your pee stream for a while just to listen to what your toddler is asking about from the other side of the bathroom door. Nobody pulled your hair, or saw you shower or walked over your face with a diaper full of shit before. So yes! It did change! Nevertheless when your kiddo transforms from an innocent cutesy infant to a mini hulk toddler, the changes become more and more significant. Don't trust me?? Tadaaaa....... Let me break it down for you.. I have one such unmanageable unruly tiny package named "Aara" and these are some of my obse...

Finding fake things and people is lot more easier today than bumping into their genuine counterparts. In fact the most common thing people fake about these days is about having an exemplary, ultimate and the best weekend, while you would have in reality just dragged yourself from room to room in your dirty pyjamas binge watching your favourite Netflix series for the twenty fifth time with a huge basket of popcorn which you engulfed all by yourself. Faking has really become an everyday business today and it is okay only unless and until it doesn't annoy the person in front of you. Have you come across really exasperating and pesky people who annoyingly pretend certain things that it becomes so obvious.... so obvious.. that it is fake??!! 😒 Well here is a list of things that people by and large fake about..... 😏 Looks "Make up? No not at all.. This is how I wake up. May be you should start drinking more water", says the lady who I happen to stumble upon ev...

In life we all come across some awkward humiliating situations, so awkward that you feel like getting metamorphosed into an ostrich all of a sudden so that you can shove your head into the soil and escape reality. Here are a few such moments we all would have confronted atleast once in our lives. 😒 Making eye contact with someone rushing toward your elevator, trying to get in, but the doors are already closing. 😒 When you narrate a terrible joke to your colleagues, and they don't hear you, so they ask you to repeat it, making the terrible joke even more terrible and useless. In the process of narrating it for the second time, you feel like stopping halfway, thinking, "Dude! I think you're wasting your time." 😒 When you're watching a movie with your family, and out of the blue, the couple starts making out, and your mom stares at you as if you were the assistant director of the movie. You say, "Errr... Popcorn anyone?" and quickly escape into t...

PC: the_capture_diaries Relationship!!! One of the most complicated words of all times! (atleast that's how we are made to believe) But is it? Nah! Not really. Just imagine- you get a soul mate, a confidante, an escort, a playmate, a companion, almost a complete family package including your siblings, your enemy, your crush, the annoying kid next door - all in one - for free free free. It's more like having an twin- an unadopted twin of yours with a lifetime warranty (who is technically not your twin ofcourse) with whom you can share goods and chattels, irritate, feel loved, miss, kiss and what not!? Have you ever rolled back to how it all began?? You meet your someone special , you get a spark- a thunderbolt strikes, you hear bells everywhere, there is music in your head and the juggling of every other cell in your body, butterflies here and there and everywhere and then finally you realize you are in LOVE. Initially you be all dressed up and poise and well behav...

Hey peeps, Howa you sailing? After the overwhelming response to the part one and many many requests for the part two, here I present to you another set of random thoughts.. And if you haven't checked the part 1 already .. What are you doing with your life man?? Go check it out and come back. I'm waiting.. Right here.. Hurry!!! 😛 😛 Here is the link to it 👇 https://amreenajan.blogspot.com/2018/06/random-thoughts-about-nothing-in.html PC @Amritha Jan Okay come on... Productivity time.. Let's rant... 🙃 Sometimes I just wonder how people can be so irresponsible, when they call me on my land-line and ask "hey where are you?" Like yeah I have twiddled that land line over my neck a couple of times and I'm rowing a boat, in the middle of the Pacific ocean just to do some fishing coz I wanted to kill time!! Oh Crap!! 🙃 I hate it when I have a good hair day and my makeup on point (which very rarely happens. Most of the time I look like a hung...

Life is not always a bed full of roses! Yeah! Not at all. It is a bed full of used bibs, left out pieces of food, toys and toys and toys just to give you that mini fracture when you accidentally land your knee or elbow upon it and a couple of used diapers giving it that "extra sexy" look. Yeah! With a two year old what more can you dream of. I stare at this little human named Aara, at times wondering how topsy turvvy has she turned my life into (for the better ofcourse). Wanna know how much better? Listing a few below... ❤ Gifted with nail marks and bites here.. there.. everywhere. Little does my peeky neighbour knows that this innocent puppy face did that to me, rather she keeps asking me if we had a gala couple time in the bed last night! Hmmmmphhh... Neighbours and their pointy noses - you know. ❤️ Everytime I walk past the beauty salon towards the supermarket to fetch newly launched diapers in the market just to differentiate between dry and extremely dry and pick...

I could feel commotion and havoc all over the place. It was an ambience of disturbing pandemonium. Ah! My head ached like as if it were going to blast. I couldn't move my body either. Looked like as if I have had a strenuous workout after a decade or so. Where was I? I struggled hard to open my eyelids apart. The scene was totally out of focus like one of those poorly focused photographs I usually take. It was all dark, or may be kinda sepia toned. I tried hard to focus squinting and relaxing my eyes alternatively. Slowly it all became clear. I remembered those microbiology classes at school where we adjust the lens to have a clearer view of the strain on the slide. It was clear. She was standing right there a few steps ahead of me. Scrawny and raddled soulless eyes which were caved in and pitch black with tiny red pupils. An unnatural smile smeared across her face, slowly expanding into a grin. I quickly closed my eyes because I knew that was not real. For a second I convinc...

*Alarm buzzes* Me: Tanana a nanana ooh ooh ooo o ooooo nanaaa woaoooooh hooo (when your favorite song is your alarm tone) Once again Me: Nanananaaaaaaaa oh oh hoooooo lalalaaaa..... *Conversations in the head.. right away* Hmmmm... By the way, why is mom in a hype this early? Is it their wedding day or has the maid agreed for an extra bonus hour of work? Or has someone offered to adopt me? Music 'n all huh.. W.. Wait !! Don't tell me it's the alarm!! Oh my God.. Oh my God.. Oh my God.. (Reaching out to the mobile with closed eyes and ... ) *Involuntary Snooze* To hell with the sudden plunge into this deepest sleep that appears from nowhere that has a life span of less than a few minutes.. Two minutes later.. *Alarm buzzes once again* The inner me: What's the time? Is it a working day? I thought it was an extended weekend. Wait.. What day was yesterday? Hmmmm... Let me think.. Friday.. Saturday... Sun.. Oh man! It's Monday! Urrghh.. I hate Monday morn...

That 2 year old pallazo pants gifted to you by your sister-in-law, which you pretty much know you have outgrown. That 4 year old magazine lying there just because it holds the picture of your favorite actor who is a dad of a cute little toddler now. (Yay! Hearty congrats to him). The 5 and a half year old blanket that once decorated your hostel room and was the only room decor you ever ever owned- that sometimes role-played as a curtain, a food mat and a floor mat even (yuk!) lying there with few strands of thread on the verge of detachment but still clinging on to tight. Whenever I think of ways to part with them, an invisible hand from nowhere seizes them all and puts them back to place, convincing me with valid bulletins which confirms their place for another 3 years. Those nail paints and lippers that have successfully crossed their expiry dates but you don't just feel like discarding them away. Like.. How can I be so rude???? I once pampered them like my own descendan...

(This story was written in response to the image) #100wordstorychallenge #Thepromise Finally the day had arrived. Trembles and quivers had been my uninvited companions for the past few days. My heartbeat raised as I walked towards him on the stage. His eyes met mine. All at once, a sharp twinge hit my spine exactly the way it did, the first time I saw him. Nothing had changed.. I realised. It was beautiful. There was an exchange of a million words.. of the love we shared.. of the promises made. Beside him stood an angel. Yes she was an angel indeed, in the elegant white gown with a bouquet as beautiful as her. I exchanged smiles with both of them and wished them luck as I descended the grandstand. There I was left... with a temporary smile and a permanent scar in my heart. ❤️

PC @Amritha Jan Scenario 1 Then.. (The 1990's) Me: *Huffing and panting entering home in my blue sports tee and shorts. I looked BEAU-TI-FUL. Fully drenched, the shoe laces untied, slimy hands and feet, scruffy unkempt hair and a few scratches on my right knee and elbow. Hmmm... Din't I say BEAU-TI-FUL? (Well.. playing football in the rain compliments you with all those uninvited add-ons)* Mom: Looking at me.. *beep beep beep* once again *beep beep beep* Actually after a while of beep beep beeps... (this continues until all the bad words in her dictionary have been used). Mom: You better run to the nearby grocery and get me few tomatoes, onions, broccoli and blah blah... (the list continues for a few seconds). And if you don't, then u will get no dinner and you will have to sleep on the roads tonight. *Slams the door * *Thuddddd* Me: OK mommy. (With an evil smile turns towards the road. Wow! that means extra bonus minutes to play in the rain.. Quickly ...