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Getting "toddlered" -Part 1


How do you feel being a new parent?
Is your life not the way it used to be?
Well... The answer is definitely YES.

Having these tiny humans around, that you created, changes your life. Ofcourse you are pretty the same human who wakes up, eats, poops and breathes! The only difference is that you are accompanied everywhere 24*7. You no longer keep your knives in drawers, no more purchase of expensive vases or cutlery, You stop your pee stream for a while just to listen to what your toddler is asking about from the other side of the bathroom door. Nobody pulled your hair, or saw you shower or walked over your face with a diaper full of shit before.
So yes! It did change!

Nevertheless when your kiddo transforms from an innocent cutesy infant to a mini hulk toddler, the changes become more and more significant. Don't trust me?? Tadaaaa.......

Let me break it down for you..

I have one such unmanageable unruly tiny package named "Aara" and these are some of my observations...
Come on in 😀


😲 Heartbreaks and Toddlers :
How does your heart feel when you see melted chocolates everywhere in the room, the floor,  the couch, the bedspread, the pillows, the wardrobe and every other place where a tiny creature of about 2 feet and a half could probably reach? Especially when you get to know that it was the most expensive, most delicious set of  chocolates that your US return friend had gifted you and you had promised yourself to have one teeny bite at a time so that it would last for a year and a half atleast. Tell me which is more painful?
The mess cleanup or the lost chocolate?! 
And No! it was not the cat !! (I saw HER fingerprints stamped everywhere! Damn!) 

😲 Reality check :
Have you ever bought an expensive set of toys for your little ones and presented it to them with such exhilaration and zeal that your cheeks linger to and fro between your left and right ears, with utmost expectation imagining how well your toddler is gonna follow up your instructions and use it even better than how the sales boy explained?
And then.. Tadaaaaaaaaaaaa....
your toddler begins to play with the cardboard box, the bubble wrapper and the tiny cushions that come along with the toys instead? 
A minute of silence for my broken heart please!!!!

😲 When external factors play a major role :
Nowadays, getting your grocery shopping done with no toddler tantrums and without having to buy another set of candies or crayons or kinderjoy, seems more than an achievement. I don't understand why supermarkets want new parents like us to die of capillary explosion due to the high blood pressure given by those beautifully stacked goodies at the billing counter, where we spend the maximum of time. Don't you guys pity us? Don't you want us to live in peace?  😏

😲 Embarrassment - a synonym for toddlers :
Have you ever been stuck up in highly embarrassing situations where your complete metabolic activity ceases and you just feel like hibernating like an endotherm into a trench with monthly supplies, lots of chocolates and wine and to never to come back???

Embarassment number 1, 2,3... 100
Farts from your kiddo, that people mistake you for. That is by far the toughest and most abstruse situation to handle in life (I don't mind having a brunch with a herd of aliens instead- provided they don't have ME in the menu!) It is tough because you cannot stand with the truth that it's not you, neither can you blame the poor little baby for which you will be judged. Either way it's you who will look like a terrible and shoddy mom blaming that poor sinless and naive soul!

When my kid says something weird in public that was not meant to be told, or when she throws unmanageable tantrums or when she breaks an expensive rack in the supermarket and people from every other counter and even the nearby store either come running or hire a taxi just to come up to me and give me "THAT LOOK". If you are a parent you would have probably been familiar with "the look" I'm talking about (Not The Look, It's - Theeeeeeeeee Look) and if you aren't a parent yet, then hey culprit! wait there! So you are the one throwing those looks at poor helpless souls like us..
You will burn in hell fire!! 😣

For a moment you feel like the whole world is against you. And all you could do is just pretend with fake smiles and a dozen sorrys or sometimes say "I don't know this child! Lets wait for her parents to come!" and join the staring group! (P. S. Yes, it works!) 😝 Or simply pretend to faint. All of a sudden people's focus will shift from the baby to you and you can lay down until all their feelings get diluted. But at any cost do not over act, because you dont want to get an MRI scan done with the doctor saying, "I'm sorry she is dying of brain tumor". So keep it simple and natural 😋

There will be days when your kid insists to wear her new ballerina outfit to sleep, there will be days when the first thing you step on in the morning is a block of Lego, there will be days filled with cries, adventure, laughter, emotions, distress, satisfaction and love.
But.. don't you worry..
Coz...
You are not alone!! 😌


Comments

  1. Hahaha. Such a funny read.loved it.awesome post.

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    Replies
    1. I agree with you. As a parent I see myself in the article.

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  2. Wow.couldn't stop laughing. All your analogies are totally on point. Would love to read more from you. Keep going

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  3. After reading this I feel like having a kid myself. See that's the kind on impact your words have on ppl. Lovely read Ms.funny bones. We love you ��

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  4. Omg. You stole my words and experiences. I am a mom of 2 kids. And everyday I go through these. I never knew daily activities could be portrayed in such a humorous way. I could believe I burst laughing . Thanks for the post . Loved it.

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  5. Ha ha ha ha.
    I am a big fan of your writings. Thank u so much for making my day. I was upset today .came across your post and I'm sitting with wide smiles . Though I don't have kids yet. It's so relatable .

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  6. Beautifully scripted. I would love to collaborate with you. Your words have that power. And you have got an awesome flow to it. A well written script from a well experienced writer it seems to be. I would give a 9 for 10.

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  7. this is awesome. I don't have kids myself but I have dogs who think they're kids LOL

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  8. That was quite an entertaining read especially since I can totally relate with you. And another one is coming so I can imagine how much adventures these two can give me.

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  9. Quite interesting read ka :)
    Hilarious and realtable though I don't have any little one :)

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  10. True. I'm mom of two kids and both are toddlers now. I agree to all facts mentioned here. Yes I'm glad that I'm not alone.

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  11. Yet another humour pill 😂😂😂 proud of u jigglooo..awesome writing... way to go darling...alwz a big fan of urs😍😘

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  12. It'll be messy but in the long run you know it'll be worth it.. All experiences are treasured.

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  13. Honestly, this articles makes me laugh. I am a mother of two with one toddler and I am continuously experiencing the same things everyday but I am still happy because I am able to do my duties and my responsibilities with him every seconds,every minute, every hour and everyday of his life.

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  14. I am definitely thinking that my life would have been easier if I was blogging when my kids where younger. Knowing that others were going to the same thing as me would have made a huge difference.

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  15. Though I don't have a child of my own, I can see with my nieces that being a parent to a toddler is definitely tough! You mamas are so inspiring to me.

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  16. currently i don't have kids, i can't imagine what my experience would look like when i finally have 1

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  17. I totally feel you... life changes completely. It’s more exhausting and beautiful too.

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  18. I really enjoyed reading your post! Those words touched my heart. Looking forward for more such posts :)

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  19. I love this!!! I have 5 girls...out of their toddler stage. My oldest daughter is having her 1st. And while she is still in her first trimester, I see the signs of...I have read every book and am prepared to know it all...NEW PARENTS!!! Thanks for your honesty!

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  20. I am not a parent but I am an aunt to my nephew and he has literally grew up with me. He is 3 and I absolutely relate to everything you said. Cute :)

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  21. Loved your post. Have gone through this with my 10 year old when he was small. I can very well relate. Very sweet and cute post

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  22. I am not a parent yet but these are the things that I need to expect when I become a new parent. Thanks for sharing these information. These are helpful!

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  23. I love it when they choose the box over the toys that came in it. Ugh! lol

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  24. Become a parent is a new journey in life. No more me time. But seeing they grow is the most excited thing.

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  25. Nodding in agreement here lol. Can relate to everything you've said.

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  26. oh god. Totally can relate to this. This was entertaining to read since i know somewhere down im not alone

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  27. Twinspirational30 July 2019 at 22:01

    Haha I love have you written all of these things.. Not
    yet a mother but now I know what exactly to expect. ��

    ReplyDelete
  28. I work as cabin crew on a plane... my heart melts when I see melted chocolate all over the aircraft from kids! haha.. Thanks for sharing some good and funny points.

    ReplyDelete

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